Decision? A sacrifice.

It all came down to this. After many sleepless days , it is all finally taking a toll on my body. Weak as it is after 3 freakin operations ; despite the fact that i am training like mad to get my physique back , work and stress just have to push me down to zero. Or perhaps negative. After those nights , i had a flu (not H1N1.. ZZZ), kept sneezing and all. It was horrible. All just to complete my work. Now my lung is feeling weird after all these shits. And i have to go on again after the hols, which is not hols to me since the shitty school made us do assignments ; like after a few weeks of serious hell and we still can't get a decent 100% no homework shit break.

Not only this , but more importantly ( yes even more important than my health) my spiritual life is at jeopardy. Ever since the school started , i seemed to have drifted away from God. I am a person who needs help with prayer life already , and this stressful @%#@^@^ life made it even worse. I am lagging far behind in my RCIA class now , with lots of reflection not done. I've let a lot of people there down.
I feel bad too , not being able to sacrifice time for God ( since every second counts , even if i work 24 hours straight i may not get the job done well ).

And i soon find myself crumbling away.. I felt so demoralised with no one to console me. In school, life's tough. Everyone may seem to care , but the actual fact is that everyone's for themselves. I've lived through enough of this shit to actually pen this down. In the instance when you desperately needed help , you are turned down. And this hurts much more than you'd expect.

I've decided. I'm not gonna give so much a crap about my school stuff already. People can go fight and kill themselves to score the best , but God will always be first in my life. I will make a sacrifice for God , and it is only right so. Jesus died on the cross for us ; the ultimate sacrifice and act of love. So i am not gonna let some mortal bullshit ruin my relationship with God. No way.

Vin