I've been thinking for a long time , and i am seriously frustrated to the core about something. Justice , is it really there in this world? Why do all the lame and show-off people getting fame and recognition , but not the truly talented ones who deserved it?
The same goes for credit.I will speak the truth here. I fucking hate the SLB.Flame me all you want.Cuz u all do not know the fucking fact that goes around.I came back to the SLB , thinking with enthusiasm that i will be able to serve and work with pride in the council.But i was disappointed.I faced rejection in many ways. I didnt get to go to any Leadership camps.I was "advised" not to cuz of my pathetic body.
No one approached me in the SLB to talk to me.Only my juniors , Amily , Ming teck, Ying yan and my few classmates in SLB wud say hi and talk to me for abit. I am TOTALLY invisible in the SLB. During the Annual General Meeting , duties were given out to the councillors. I didnt even get ONE duty. If you think that they are doing so cuz i am sec 5 and i need to concentrate on my Os , then why the hell they give it to other sec 5 SLs but not me? Cuz of my lung problem? Cuz they think i cant do it?
FUCK. If i didnt want to do duty , i wouldnt even be fucking back in the SLB. What else do i wear the tie for? To let it get dusty? yeah , now perhaps. I find no sense of belonging anymore.People are not doing their duty well , and in the hall duty , i am the only one to fucking pick up rubbish and used tissue while other councillors use 'EYE POWER'. Fantastic. The ex-cos? even more pro. Level 2 'EYE POWER'. 'MOUTH POWER' also. Only talk cock. Do i EVER see them in action? Hell NO.
If you wanna fucking command ppl and gain their respect , then u better show a good example.But too bad u dont seem so to me. So u fucking dun get any respect from me. I am disappointed.I shall resign as a councillor , within the core of my being. For the tie, i will just wear it as a fashion statement until i get my freaking testimonial before i burn/disintegrate/melt/
So much for "There is no "I" in team". The irony. "I" am really not in their team. Solo i go then.
As for love life , it is the same case. I will never be found , never seen nor heard. Yet i cant stop myself from falling in love.I am really disgusted bout the reality of this world , and the bunch of show-offs scums. I would really like to protect "her" from these bastards , but i cant. Its NOT within the locus of my control.What even fucking right do i have to protect her? I am just a guy with freaking lung problems unable to do anything.And these ppl are just gonna take her away from me. I can only watch , and pain is inevitable.
But anyways, i am still gonna be myself , and no one more. Cuz i believe in my values , even if i have lost , i wont be as bastard as them. At least...
SoLO
