What does it feel like to grit your teeth everywhere, every place, everytime? It feels like I've gotten used to it, but somewhere inside me, there is still this part of me that is storing all these frustrations. That side of me who wants to burst out at every single 'gangster' wannabe on the streets and screw them up.

What can i do when someone on the street just randomly say to his friends "Eh, want beat that guy (me) up or not?" It fucking irritates and provoke me to the core when i am some 'toy' or some subject they seem they can mess with. Indeed with my current body state now, i can do nth but walk away gritting my teeth. Deep inside, there's always this urge to destory everything to the deepest core when i am annoyed over the smallest thing like smelling some asshole smoking into my face.
I am having trouble controlling it now. I dont know when i can keep smiling. Perhaps one day i'll just smash someone's head while smiling without myself knowing it. ARGH, i'm just letting loose here. You'll never know my frustrations until you are actually me.

Vin